Vocabulary enrichment

1. Aspect – pantusok sa yelo.

2. CD ROM – Tingnan ang kuwarto.

3. City – Numero bago mag otso.

4. Devalue – Susunod sa letter V.

5. Dillema – Brown-out ba?

Essay about a cow

“The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child. He is same likeGod,sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together.Two are forward and two are afterwards.

“His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do? Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth.Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

“His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species.Also his other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating.Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

“His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.

“He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side.This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch.So the grasses head is not crushed.At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

“This is the cow.”

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam

Thing you don’t want to hear during surgery

Things You Don’t Want To Hear During a Surgery

– Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?

– Hand me that… uh… whatever it’s called !

– Oh no! I just lost my watch.

– “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”

– Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

– Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.

– Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?

– There go the lights again…

– Ya’ know… there’s big money in kidneys… and this guy’s got two of ’em.

– Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

– Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing my concentration off.

– What’s this doing here?

– I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.

– That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

– Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

-You sure it wasn’t this leg?

– OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

– Are his relatives waiting outside?

– Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

– Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.

– What do you mean, “You want a divorce”!

– FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

– This scissor looks rusted.

– Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

– Isn’t this the one with the really lousy insurance?

– Now from where did this spider come in from.

Online Lottery FRAUD!

Mag-ingat mga my plens ko dyan… Marami ngayon ang nanloloko at mga naloko na ng Free Lotteries programs na ito… Ang scam na ito ay masyadong organized at mahirap ma-detect dahil sa masyadong convencing ang dating ng mga notice forms nila… Hindi nyo naitanong pero ako rin ay muntik nang mabiktima nito nitong linggo lang nato… Sino ba naman ang makapagsabing fraud pala ang notice forms nila e talagang daig pa yata si Miriam S. dun sa mga binanatang inglis!

Pati rin ang mga opisyal na naka perma at mga naka-link daw sa kanilang mga ahensya at bangko ay wala talagang lamat na pwedeng mapagdudahan… Susubukan kang ikumbinsi ng mga ito na ito ay genuine at kinakailangan mong makipagkontak sa isang taong kunyari ay manager ng bangko sa englatera para sa karagdagang instructions kung paano mo mai-wire ang winning money mo papasok sa private bank account mo, so kailanganin ang personal info at bank account numbers mo dyan…

Minsan naman ang style nila ay sisingilin ka muna ng katakot-takot na maliliit na transaction fees, at dahil nga huh mayaman na ako ngayon…! Galante ako, chicken feed na lang ang mga yan so babayaran mo ngayon.

Pagkatapos na makuha na nila ang kailangan nilang cash ay biglang, plok! plok! (Parang yung tunog na nangaling dun sa toilet kanina nung nandun si tatang a)

Pagnagka-bread na sila sa tulong ng generousity mo (In other words, katangahan) disapir-exit na sila na parang masamang panaginip dahil sa binanatan mo ang dalawang bandihadong kanin at napadami tuloy ang kain mo kagabi… Adios bentesingko sentimos…!

Sa mga ganitong fraud daw kalimitang mapapansin ang maling grammar at maling spelling (Parang ako) na hindi na halos mapansin dahil sa naghalong pawis, laway, luha at sipon ng nakatanggap bunga ng sobrang katuwaan. Ay wan! Ay wan! Ay Waaaa-haaa-haaan-nanay ko poooo! (Iwan ko ba sayo, kanina ka pa talon ng talon dyan hampasin kaya kita nitong dyaryong binabasa ko ng matigil ka na)

Ikaw ba naman ang padalhan ng sulat na nanalo ka ng isang milyong euro o kaya pounds, di ka kaya magtatatalon buong maghapon…! Magkano na sa piso natin yun, teka ha matikmatik muna ako 1,000,000 * 12345 – 6789 / 9876 + 54321 = P 96,279,991.41… O di ba galing-galing ko no? 96 million pesos! Nakuw! Kahit mamatay na ang masungit kong neighbor pagkatapos…!

Biro nyo yan madlang people, kahit wag na kayong magtrabaho at pakapekape na lang ay di nyo na kayang ubusin ito… Pati na din ang second at third generations nyo ay allowed ng maging tamad ngayon. Matikmatik uli ako ha, 96,279,991.41 / 365 = P 263,780.80… Ayan galing ko talaga…! Yan ang dapat nyong gastahin araw-araw sa loob ng isang taon para lang maubos nyo ito. Pwede kayong bumili ng tsekot araw-araw, may sukli pa kayong pang tsekolet at pang karaoke…!

Halimbawang may mga 10yrs. na lang ang itatagal nyo sa balat ng lupang hinirang na ito bago kayo matigokok… urhm!.. Tatang naman wag kayong sumimangot muna dyan at lalo kayong pumapanget… Iksampel lang ito kayo naman masyadong balat luya este sibuyas pala…!

Kung halimbawa10yrs. na lang ang nalalabi sa holiday nyo, kailangan nyo pa ring magwaldas ng P 26,378.07 pesos sa everyday battery nyo… Sarap naman…! Ano kayang pwedeng bilhin ng halaga na yan…? Ah alam ko na…! 26,378 na text messages! (Sabay pitik pa ng kamay sa ere) Galing ko talaga! Ay wan! Ay wan! He-he-he (Tuwang-tuwa pa si tangek)